How to Navigate Conflict, Chaos and Change – the Five of Wands

The Five of Wands can represent conflict, chaos and change.

It’s day 3 of my 78 day writing challenge! I’m so glad you are here! Let’s jump right in. So far, I have drawn 3 cards, two of which have been 5’s – lol!! If I were reading for myself, it would seem change is in my future! Again, the number 5 in numerology as well as in Tarot represents change. If we look at this card, we see 5 men all wielding large, sharp wands or weapons. We see there is obviously conflict going on but it’s not clear who is actually fighting with whom.

Change comes to us in a variety of ways throughout our lives. Sometimes change brings sadness and lamenting over what is being left behind as we saw from the Five of Cups. Sometimes change comes with conflict and chaos as it appears to do in this card.

Sadly, most all of us have experienced a change in our lives due to the loss of a relationship caused by conflict. Even if the relationship wasn’t entirely lost, conflict, harsh words, nit picking and criticizing can all cause the relationship to change forever. The wounds caused by the tongue are the most dangerous wounds we can inflict. In the heat of the moment, sometimes words come out of our mouths that we didn’t want to come out. Unfortunately, once the words leave our mouths, they cannot be taken back. Sometimes words can be forgiven but they are never ever forgotten. Anyone who justifies his or her words by thinking that the other person knows he or she didn’t mean it is sadly deluding themself.

Because words and conflict can be so damaging to a relationship, we need to carefully analyze a situation before we let our sharp tongue engage. This is a skill I had to develop when I owned a bridal shop. Everything revolving around a wedding is highly emotionally charged. If any type of situation arose that made the client unhappy, the emotions sometimes made everything worse. In the beginning it was easy for me to engage in the verbal battle by pointing out that the bride had signed a contract, there was nothing I could do about the bride gaining weight, that it wasn’t my fault the bride became pregnant so the dress no longer fit, etc. Then I learned the best skill of my life. When the outbursts came, I learned to step back mentally, separate myself from the conflict and look at all of it from outside the situation. From a point away from the center of the problem, it was much easier for me to figure out what end result the bride was actually seeking. Most of the time, the thing the bride was angry about had nothing to do with me or my business. Most of the time, something happened that had nothing to do with the actual wedding gown. Because the wedding gown didn’t fit, or the wedding was called off or the couple decided to elope or whatever, the bride was upset with the outside situation, not the actual wedding gown. By stepping back, I could see what had really caused the problem in the first place. From there a clear path to fixing the problem always became clear. Baby bump? Call in alterations. Extra weight? Take out the zipper and put in a corset. Elopement? Help the bride plan a very special photo shoot where she could still actually wear the dress, and so on. By helping the bride find a way to get to where she wanted to go, her highly charged emotions quickly evaporated.

The point of all of this is, when conflict comes, as it always does, the wisest course of action is to take a couple of breaths before reacting. Then you can look at the situation from outside the problem. Try to avoid conflict by finding the path to a solution that lets the other person feel like you have heard them without lashing back at them.

Unfortunately there will be times when the conflict is too big to overcome. If you need to defend yourself or draw a line in the sand, doing so with a clear head will have better results than jumping into an attack. If, despite your best efforts, a major change has to happen, you will always know that you took the higher road. It takes great strength of character to be the bigger person but you will always be glad you did.

Thanks so much for being here. I look forward to meeting with you again on day 4!

Love

Suzy

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