So, you know my best friend I talked about in the Flabby Arms post? Well, she asked me if I wanted to go to this psychic event with her. Are you kidding me!! Absolutely!! Count me in!! That’s my realm!!
The psychic used Tarot cards to help with her readings. She had me shuffle the deck and she dealt them out. I have to admit, I am not very familiar with Tarot cards so I had no idea of their meanings when she flipped them over. She took just a split second to look at them, tapped her finger on one and asked me who I needed to forgive. Now, it just so happened that a few days earlier, someone in my life made a very innocent comment to me. There was no hidden meaning, no hidden agenda, nothing behind the words, but for some reason, they cut through me to my soul! I had been unsuccessful at letting go of all the negative emotions that had boiled to the surface. This is not a normal way for me to respond to things as I am usually very rational but for some reason, I was struggling. Since I was just staring at her like a deer in the headlights, she rephrased the question, “Is there someone you need to forgive?” I affirmed that there was. She went on to remind me that when we hold onto hurt feelings or anger towards someone, we are not punishing them, we are punishing ourselves. The other person is not feeling the hurt, we are. The longer we hold onto it, the longer we punish ourselves! Forgiveness doesn’t mean that what the other person did was OK, it means we are able to release the hurt and find happiness again.
I knew that what she was saying was 100% correct but letting it all go was easier said than done! I had been holding onto those feelings for days and the emotion was right at the surface 24/7! How was I going to be able to let go? She gave me the answer. We were 2 days before the Super Moon that happened on April 26, 2021. She told me to get some clean, blank paper and start writing out everything I was feeling. She told me to just let it go and write out everything that came to the surface – give it a voice – really feel it all! Then, during the full moon I was to take the paper outside under the full moon, give myself permission to let it go and set it on fire. The intent was to let the smoke rise up to God so that he could blow it all away.
Such a beautiful image formed in my mind. I did exactly what she suggested. With each sentence that I wrote, I looked deeper behind the words. There was more hiding back there. So much more! Good Heavens!! Where had all these memories and hurts from the past 60 years been hiding? I didn’t even know they were there but they just all came pouring out into the light of day. There they were on that paper, raw and wounded emotions that had built up over a lifetime. It took me over 4 hours to get it all out. When I was finished, I was literally exhausted and was left with a massive headache. It felt like I had a cancer cut out of me! You know how someone might go in for surgery to remove a very small spot of cancer but the surgeon has to remove a huge amount of tissue all around it to make sure he got it all? That’s what it felt like!
At 9:30 last night, the time arrived. Kevin had been watching me go through all of this and wanted so much to help me with the release ceremony. We took my document and a metal dog bowl out onto the lanai, asked God to take this load from me and we set it on fire! With the huge full moon overhead, we could see the smoke curling towards Heaven. We watched it from first flicker to last glowing ember and I let it all go. All of it! Up in smoke and blown away by the breath of God. I slept like a baby last night. This morning I decided to look at my emotions just to see if there was anything left. Miraculously, it was all gone. In its place was the feeling that it was all so small when it started. The way I had held onto it, nurtured it and let it grow was really the saddest part of it all.
Today is a new day. I have learned a great lesson. I pray I can remember the lesson and can release the negative emotions from my life as soon as they come so that I can fully enjoy every wonderful moment that awaits in the future.
Thanks so much for being here! If you have anything within your soul that just needs to be released, I highly recommend this process to let it all go!