Fear Is A Scary Thing!

Good Morning and Welcome to The Lanai and I!  This is the place where we openly explore our hopes and dreams for the future!  Thanks so much for being here!  

The title of this episode is Fear is a Scary Thing!!!  Before we get started, this episode is also available as a podcast and can be found on all your favorite podcast sights.   Please subscribe to our different channels so that you never miss a new episode.  OK, with all the housekeeping done, let’s jump in!

Let’s face it, we live in a fear based world.  The only way the puppet masters ruling the earth can keep us firmly in the grips of the matrix they have constructed is by keeping us in some sort of fear at all times.  

We are trained from the time we are born to live is fear.  We are afraid of what others will think.  We are afraid to be ourselves because we fear no one will like us.  We are afraid to put a voice to our hopes and dreams because others might ridicule us.  We are afraid of not following the standard path through life because we might fail.   And on and on it goes!  Fear rules our lives and keeps us from finding true joy in life.  

For me, putting my thoughts on paper  – and now into audible words – for the whole world to see and hear was terrifying!  It seems like it was just yesterday that I started on this journey when it has really been over 3 years!  I started very small – just a blog post every now and then.  I didn’t tell anyone about it at first.  Then I got brave and posted it to social media, but again, I wasn’t very consistent.  Then things started to change and I found strength.  

for my husband and I it was our vision of what we wanted our future to look like that led us to fears doorstep.  We had a dream.  For a long time we kept it to ourselves because we were afraid of what others would think.  I mean, who did we think we were to even THINK that we could actually slow down the frantic pace at which we lived our lives and enjoy the bounties of this awesome life?  

Think about that for just a minute.  We ALL have a fear of what others will think – of others criticizing us.  By giving into that fear, who is actually in control of our lives?  Other people are!  We are handing our happiness and our lives over to the opinions of others!  Does that make any sense at all?  No it doesn’t!  The ONLY people who should be in control of our lives is us!  That’s it!  Why do we think it is so important what other people think about us?  If we really looked at that fear, we would realize how pathetic it is because in reality, those other people don’t give a rat’s ass about us!  IF they were to criticize us, it is only because they want to keep us from moving ahead with our dreams because they have always been too scared to move ahead with their own dreams.  By keeping us back with them, they don’t have to look at their own failure to make their dreams their reality!  IF they laughed at us, their laughter is just a way of controlling us!  Is that really how you want to live your life?  At the mercy of other people’s opinions?  It shouldn’t be!

My husband and I are of the age that we grew up being programmed to believe that the only way to get ahead is to work harder and longer than the next guy.  You had to work as hard as humanly possible for as long as humanly possible if there was to be real financial reward by the time you reached retirement age.  So, that is exactly what we were doing!  Again, why were we doing this?  Out of FEAR!  Fear that we wouldn’t have enough money to retire on.  Fear that as we entered our golden years we would end up being homeless street people.  

Luckily we started waking up a couple of years ago.  It was a slow awakening but it happened.  We realized that we were living just to work!  We were not working so that we could live a joyous life.  We were not enjoying each other, we were not enjoying our home and we were not enjoying our lives.  We were simply working.  We had accumulated some assets, not a great fortune by any means but some figures on paper.  The problem was that we couldn’t even enjoy those assets because we were working all the time and again there was the element of fear!  We were so afraid of spending any money because it might deplete our resources for retirement. 

Once we realized this, we started talking about it.  What would happen if we stopped working or at least slowed down the frantic pace?  Well, we faced fear again!  We were afraid of what people would think if they found out we wanted to retire before we were 60.  The programming all of our lives had been so tight that we thought that retiring before age 65 was judgement worthy.   Can you imagine! Being afraid of what others thought about when we decided to leave the rat race!

As we continued to look at our dreams for our future, we realized we really wanted to move to a sunny, tropical location to enjoy our lives.  Once again, guess what popped up!  FEAR!  We were afraid of what would happen to our friends and family if we moved away!  Would some of them be mad that we abandoned them?  Would we lose some of them because of the distance separating us?  We let this fear rule our decision making for quite awhile.  We hashed it out frequently.  Finally we came to the realization that we live in a very technologically connected world.  We were also blessed with fast and easy travel methods.  Our true friends and family members who wanted to stay connected would stay connected.  It didn’t really matter where we were physically located – we were accessible no matter where we decided to live.  In fact, our moving to a tropical location might even be looked at by many as a positive thing because they would have a wonderful place to go for vacations!  

Finally, we faced our fears and decided to make our dreams come true.  It was and continues to be a huge test of our faith.  We had to turn a lot of the details over to God Almighty and we have been blessed for our faith.  All of our fears turned out to be pointless.  None of the horrible things we feared actually happened.  

That’s the thing about fear.  We spend our whole lives fearing what might happen, what could happen or what horrible event might come our way.  I have read many studies that prove that 90% of the things we fear in life never even come into being!  NINETY PERCENT never happen!!!  Think how much more happiness we could have in life if we worried about or feared things 90% less of the time.  How huge would that be?  How many dreams could we actually pursue if we had 90% less fear?  Instead of fearing the horrible things that could happen, what if we looked for all the wonderful things that have an equal or larger chance of happening!  That’s a new concept!  Looking for the positives instead of the negatives.  WOW!  That thought will lead us down an entirely different` rabbit hole so I think we will dive into that at a later time.  

My final thought is this, Is fear holding you back from something you really desire?  How hard would it be to just let it go and live a fearless life?  

Thanks for being here!  

Love 

Suzy

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