Getting Older Is Just Plain Weird!

As I enter my late 50’s I am continually amazed at just how weird this stage of life is!  Up to this point my life has been totally focused on climbing that mountain.  You know the one – get through high school with a list of achievements and good grades, get through college with a list of accomplishments and good grades, get a job, get married, have children, pour myself into raising those children to the best of my ability, get those kids almost launched, start over with a new baby (ok so maybe most don’t start over with a new baby when in their 40’s but it sounded like fun at the time), get the older kids out on their own, start and build a flourishing business, work hard, work hard, work hard.  Then all the sudden there came a day when I realized just how tired I was – and still am.  All the sudden it seemed like my goals changed.  Climbing that mountain suddenly didn’t seem so important.  What seemed more important was to turn around, sit down on the mountain and admire the view from exactly where I was.  Have you been there?  Are you getting there yourself?  Isn’t this a weird place to be?

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So here I am sitting on my mountain admiring the view when something else weird happens  I rested for just a minute and felt satisfaction from the climb I had achieved.  Then I suddenly realized that all I wanted was to get off that mountain!  I wanted to get my feet back on level ground.  WHAT!!!  Stop climbing!  How could that be!  I was that driven, goal oriented over achiever my whole life.  What was this feeling of just wanting to be done?  More importantly, how was I going to get off this mountain?  The LOML and I decided we were both at the same point at the same point.  Together we decided we just wanted to sell our businesses and move to a place where we could just be.  Oh how glorious it was going to be!  We would just sell our businesses, buildings and home, pack up and move to sunny weather where we could drink fruity cocktails on the lanai!  Ok!  Let’s make that happen!  Right now!  Ready Set Go!  And we came to a screeching halt!  It’s just not that easy to sell a business!  For months now we have been living in the balance.  Wanting so badly to have the businesses sold while still having to grow the businesses so they will maintain or increase in value for a potential buyer.  But I don’t want to build it anymore!  But I have to.  I have to keep going even though going further up the mountain is exactly the opposite of where I want to go!  Potential buyers come in and are very interested.  Talks go on for weeks.  Then buyers decide to walk away for awhile to think about it.  We have been through this twice now.  We get so excited that the long awaited offer is imminent just to be disappointed repeatedly.  This is so new for me!  I have never before in my life wanted something so badly and not been able to make it happen!  Is any of this familiar to anyone else at this stage of life?  The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that one day, the offer will come, everything will fall into divine order and magic will happen.    That is the dream that keeps me on this mountain for just a little bit longer.

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Any other mountain climbers out there who have suddenly realized that getting back to the base camp is more important than reaching the summit?  How are you getting off your mountain?  I would love to hear about it!

 

One thought on “Getting Older Is Just Plain Weird!

  1. Suzy. Did you ever think that for some unknown reason, it is just not time yet and God is letting you know? I don’t know if this is true, but pray about it.

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