Fear is a Scary Thing!

Hello Fellow Dreamers!  It seems like just yesterday that I took those first tentative steps into putting our hopes and dreams in print.  In reality it has been 10 months!  When I first started writing last April, I was afraid.  I was afraid to put in writing what The Love of My Life and I were thinking about.  I was afraid it would never come true.  I mean who were we to think that we could actually slow down the frantic pace at which we live our lives and enjoy the bounties of this awesome life?  The only way to be a success in life is to work as hard as possible until your body or your soul gives out, right?  That’s what I had always heard.  So that is what I believe(d).  I am still struggling to change that core belief but I am getting closer.  TLOML and I have worked – HARD – our whole lives!  Its kinda what we do.  It seems like we have had some sort of awakening over the past year or so.  We realized that we are simply living to work.  We are not working to live.  We are not enjoying each other, we are not enjoying our home, we are not enjoying our lives!  We are simply working!  We have accumulated assets – not a great fortune, but some numbers on paper.  The problem is, we can’t enjoy the fruits of our labors because we have to work!  What would happen if we stopped working or at least slowed down the frantic pace?  Well, I was afraid of that as well.


I was afraid that people would judge us for wanting to retire before we reached 60.  I was afraid that family would react negatively if we told them we wanted to move far away.  Then I started thinking about how few of our loved ones we actually see face to face during a year.  Mostly we keep up these relationships through social media or over the phone.  We can do those same things from anywhere in the world.  After facing these fears and really hashing them out together we have come to realize that the people we care most deeply about will be the ones who will come to visit us in our new tropical location.  It won’t be a couple of hours on a calendar designated holiday where chaos is sure to ensue, but an actual visit lasting many days – in a quiet location where work is far away!  That sounds way better to us!



I was afraid that if our clients and Facebook base found out we were thinking of selling the businesses, they would stop coming.  I was so afraid of this result that I practically tied our Broker’s hands when we asked him to sell it.  I wanted him to sell it but I didn’t want him to tell anyone who was selling or what we were selling.  That didn’t work very well.  So now it is more common knowledge that we are thinking of selling.  Most people don’t believe us when we tell them.  Our business has not suffered in any way at all and continues to grow each month.  I was afraid my staff would all jump ship if they found out we wanted to sell.  You know what actually happened when I told my staff that we were taking action to sell the business?  They all laughed at me and started talking about the next item on the meeting agenda.  Hmm – that wasn’t so bad.  So, the burden of fear made our progress painfully slow in the beginning.



I’m not saying we have completely conquered all of our fears but I will say that we have come a long way.  This is important when thinking about our ability to manifest our desires into our lives.  It is one thing to tell the universe exactly what we want and when we want it, but if we don’t believe it can happen or if we are secretly terrified of it becoming a reality, the universe will most likely not bring it to pass.  Even though our progress thus far has been so excruciatingly slow and painful, I think it has been useful.  Had everything fallen neatly into place right from the very first, we may have freaked out!  We may have been so overwhelmed that we may have regretted our decision.  With us having some time, we have been able to clear out a bunch of the stuff we have accumulated that we don’t want to clutter up our lives with anymore.  We have had time to think out the logistics of making a cross country move.  We have narrowed down exactly where we want to land within our dream area.  We have figured out what kind of property we will be happiest with.  We have become so much less fearful of taking such a drastic leap that now I feel like we are much more prepared.  We are ready to let go – to let go of what we have been attached to and to let go of the fear that has held us prisoner.

Is fear holding you back from something?  I would love to hear what you are afraid of.  Please leave comments below.  Let’s talk about it!



All Lanais are not the Same

The Love of my Life and I – along with the mother-in-law and our teenage son – just got back from a week in the sun where we spent many delicious hours on someone else’s lanai.  We rented a vacation home in our favorite tropical place on a large body of open water.   The views were spectacular; however, the lanai  was not what I dream of.  It was actually a semi closed room with three banks of sliding glass doors that opened the space onto the pool deck.  The pool was large and wonderful but the pool deck was small so the space felt tight.  Don’t get me wrong, I was and am extremely grateful that we had such an opportunity!  It was wonderful!  It did make me think more clearly about what I want our lanai to look like.  One of the recurring themes in the “make your dreams come true” books I read is that you must be absolutely clear on what it is you want to draw into your life.  The more specific you are, the more likely you are to receive what you are intent on.  Setting a definite intention is the starting point.

So, what EXACTLY do I want in a lanai?  Oh, the vision in my head is truly spectacular!  I want a more modern, rectangular shape pool complete with a sun deck, entry stairs and a raised hot tub that flows over into the pool to heat it.

This one is pretty much perfect!  Oh! And the pool cage is a must!  Something about it just makes it feel so protected and a bit isolated while still giving you those fabulous views.  I also want an outdoor shower!  With lush, tropical plants all around so I can feel like I am showering in the rain forest.  Doesn’t that sound so exotic and wonderful!!

Something like this would work just perfectly!  Why an outdoor shower?  Oh, I don’t know!  We have never been in an environment where we could spend more time outside than in so I want to truly spend as much time outside as humanly possible!  We don’t want to cook inside either!  An outdoor kitchen is really. high on our list!

These are giving the idea of what we are looking for!  A covered L shaped kitchen with a breakfast bar and stools!  I do love the idea of having actually built in as part of the pool! How cool is that!!  There are only three other things I want: an area for yoga and meditation, comfortable living room type furnishings and lots of tropical vegetation.  Those things will complete the whole picture!  Can you see it now!  I can!

This is the lanai I am dreaming of.  This would be the place beyond my wildest dreams.  Now you can see my vision.  What are you dreaming of?  Remember, getting a clear picture in your mind of EXACTLY what you want is the first step in making it become a reality.  Please share the vision of what you want!  I would love to share in your journey.

My Heart’s Desire

Greetings fellow dreamers.  Here’s to hoping we can all find the path to our heart’s desire.  My heart’s desire is to have a lanai – an outdoor oasis in a tropical location where the love of my life and I can bask in the glories of the rising and setting sun each day.  A place where I can write and pursue my passions, where we can prepare fresh, healthy foods and in general spend our years in grateful awe.

What is a lanai?  It is an outdoor living space in a climate where one spends more time outside than in.   There is usually a pool involved, covered shaded areas as well as sun drenched areas to catch some rays.

We don’t have a lanai right now.  In fact, we are so far from having a lanai it just seems like a distant dream.  We live in the Midwest where the summer’s are sticky, hot and humid.  Winters are plagued by blowing snow and ice storms and the sun doesn’t shine more than a handful of times from November through March.   Fall is spectacular here but it is short lived and is just a signal that the dreariness of winter is fast approaching.  So, what is keeping us here?  Well, we were born here.  We have spent nearly 6 decades here.  We have two small businesses here, two commercial buildings that house our businesses and a home that was built during the Civil War era.  One of our adult children lives here with her husband and our only grandchild.  We also have a teenage son still in the house.  We have worked hard our whole lives but like most of our generation we don’t have a huge stockpile of money sitting in the bank waiting to make our dreams come true.  To make our dreams come true will take a lot more hard work and the sheer grace of God.

That is what this written journey is all about – seeing if it is possible to make dreams come true.  I have read some great books about how to harness the universal power to make things happen.  Is it possible?  We shall see!  I invite you to come along with me as we share some of these great books and as we put into place the concepts outlined in such books as “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill and “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne.  If these concepts are real, the dream of the Lanai and I will become a reality.

Please leave comments about your heart’s desire.  What is it that your heart longs for – even if it seems like an impossibility?